For the Doula: Supporting Survivors of Abuse

By Llamamma Mothercare

Birth work calls us into some of the most sacred and vulnerable spaces in a person’s life. Yet for many birthing people, those spaces can also stir echoes of past pain. Domestic violence, sexual assault, and other trauma often leave deep impressions in the body and nervous system—shaping how safety, touch, and control are experienced during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum.

At Llamamma Mothercare, we believe every doula and birth worker should feel equipped to support survivors with gentleness, awareness, and skill. Trauma-informed care is not an added layer of support—it is foundational to ethical, compassionate birth work. We want to highlight the voice and teachings of Kenya Fairley, whose lived experience and advocacy have deeply shaped conversations around safety, consent, and healing in the birth space.

Listening Beneath the Story

Kenya speaks openly about growing up around domestic violence and surviving sexual assault as an adult. Through her lens as both a longtime advocate and a doula, she helps us understand how trauma lives in the body long after an event has passed—and how birth can surface that memory in unexpected ways.

After more than fifteen years working as a domestic-violence advocate, Kenya witnessed how abuse systematically erodes a person’s sense of agency. Later, as a doula, she recognized similar patterns of disempowerment emerging during pregnancy and birth. Her insight is clear: when we create spaces rooted in trust, consent, and choice, survivors are given opportunities to reclaim their voice.

The Power of Asking

One of the most meaningful practices Kenya encourages is learning how—and when—to ask about a client’s trauma history. These conversations should never be rushed or forced. When trust is established and questions are asked gently, they create room for fears, memories, and needs to be named rather than silently carried.

Many survivors only share their experiences because someone finally invites the conversation. Being asked with care can help connect present-moment sensations or emotions with past experiences, offering clarity, relief, and the beginning of healing.

When we don’t ask, survivors may feel unseen or unsafe. Triggers that arise during labor—unexpected touch, confinement, bright lights, loss of control—can remain unspoken, increasing the risk of distress or retraumatization. Asking, listening, and responding with respect can profoundly change someone’s birth experience—and sometimes their life.

Birth as a Space for Reclaiming Power

Trauma-informed care is not only about acknowledging pain; it is about restoring agency. Kenya describes experiences where clients faced resistance after declining repeated vaginal exams or requesting alternatives. Each moment of pushback tested their sense of safety and autonomy.

As doulas, we can help shift this dynamic. We can support clients in clarifying their boundaries, preparing thoughtful birth preferences, and practicing how to speak up early and often. Advocacy does not need to be confrontational—it can be calm, collaborative, and grounded in respect. When a birthing person’s choices are honored, they are not only shaping their birth story—they are rewriting their relationship to power and safety in their own body.

Creating a Culture of Awareness

Trauma-informed doula care includes understanding how trauma affects the nervous system, recognizing signs of distress, offering choices at every step, and using language that centers consent and autonomy. It also means knowing when to refer clients to additional support and resources when needed.

At Llamamma Mothercare, we hold that trauma-informed care is not a niche approach—it is an essential skill for anyone serving birthing families. Given how common trauma is, especially among pregnant and postpartum people, our responsibility is not to assume safety, but to create it.

If You or Someone You Know Needs Support

You are not alone.National Domestic Violence Hotline📞 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)📱 Text: START to 88788🌐 www.thehotline.org

🌸 Closing Reflection

Each time we slow down, listen deeply, and honor a survivor’s story, we participate in collective healing. Trauma-informed doula care is not just about comfort—it is about courage, consent, and creating spaces where safety can bloom again.

At Llamamma Mothercare, we believe every birthing person deserves to feel safe, seen, and sovereign in their body.